Back into it

I hope everyone's Christmas was fun. Above is our little Christmas crew getting all merry in the garden (I assure you that that dubiously placed hand is not actually touching me!). And below is our fabulous breaky spread - complete with homemade festive hats.

So yesterday, being a public holiday we did not go in to the hospital. Instead we set off with Witness, the house cook, to go to the local market for weekly supplies. It is not really the place for tourists so we were lucky she let us tag along. It was very overwhelming - strange sights and smells everywhere. Mostly people just stared at us as we tried to avoid slipping over on all the rotting food on the ground. 

These pictures are a little disappointing and don't really capture much of the atmosphere. I was just sneaking out my little hand-held and quickly snapping away. After Kieran's camera was snatched right out of his hand while we were in a moving taxi we have all been quite careful about flashing our toys around.

This lady was a stall owner and a friend of Witness. She was quite delighted to see us there in the market. Witness also had some other male 'market brothers' who were obviously just as delighted to see us because they insisted on buying us a round of cokes. We felt terrible letting them pay. The drinks here are 500TSH (Tanzanian Shillings) which is the equivalent to about 35cents. That is nothing for us but its a much more significant amount to them. They were so proud to buy them for us though - we really couldn't refuse.

In the end I'm pretty sure I brought most of the market home on my feet.

Today I went back to the hospital. I am quite disappointed with myself though. Embarrased and ashamed even. I don't know what was different about today but it all became a bit too much. The heat was suffocating in theatre, the smell of rotting flesh seemed to penetrate my insides a little deeper and the eyes of the kids I was holding down while they cried out in pain/fear were too human. I only lasted two cases before the room started to spin and I had to leave the room in tears. I felt so bad because what they are going through is so much worse than what I am. They are so strong and today I felt incredibly weak. I guess its all part of the experience though - I just wish it wasn't an everyday occurance here. For their sakes.

I will do better tomorrow.

Till then x